Imagine this, there is a grieving mother right now who wasn’t able to take the “first” day of school photos of her child as the new school year began. This is heartbreaking to even fathom. Some of those grieving moms might have never even gotten to meet their child because they were lost in the womb, while others may have had a year or more with a child that they lost.
Losing a Child
Losing a child is hard. Unfortunately, I have been there. While I never got to meet my child, my heart exploded with love for him, from the moment I learned I was pregnant. The devastation of that loss still affects me. It’s a pain and hole in my heart that will always be there – until we meet again.
Because I have lost a child in the womb and I know what that journey felt like, I can feel a fraction of the pain that a mother who has lost a living child feels. God gifts lost moms with understanding and compassion for anyone else who tragically finds themselves dealing with such a devastating loss.
Grief looks different for everyone and no two people experience it in the same way. Some people block out loss and bury themselves in work, activities, or even alcohol and drugs. While others feel every emotion in the 7 Stages of Grief until they finally get to a place of accepting the loss, which may not come for months or years down the road. The point is, grief is not a one-size fits all situation. We all grieve in our own way and at our own pace. No one should be judged for their journey through grief and no one should put a time limit on another’s grief.
Honoring a Child
Just as grief is different for everyone, so are the ways we honor our children. Honoring a child can take the form of a balloon release, a bird release, a butterfly release, a garden, a donation in their name and the list goes on and on.
The point is, it is no one’s job to judge how a mother has decided to honor a child that she lost. Can you imagine having to say goodbye to your child and rapidly plan a funeral or event to honor their life, while you are deep in devastation and grief? Trust me, it is not easy. That’s why it is not our job to judge a grieving mother. However, It is our job to support that mother, comfort her, offer compassion, pray for her, and hold her hand while she walks a journey that many of us could never fathom.
© Strength 4 Spouses LLC, 2022.