A baby crawling on the floor with the caption "The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad pcs"

If you have never read the children’s book “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad  Day,” by Judith Viorst then you should certainly check it out. As a tribute to being real and authentic about military life and adding a fun twist to it, this is my take on our recent PCS from North Carolina to Oklahoma-Alexander style.

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad PCS

             That very day, I received a text.     

It was from my husband stating where the Army would send us next.

While I gasped for air and began to cry,

I couldn’t even imagine telling my North Carolina home goodbye.

We began frantically searching for a home.

Thousands of miles away into the unknown.

But wait, there was nothing we could do,

because we didn’t have orders yet.

We’d get them last minute,

I was willing to bet.

There’s so much to do,

I don’t know where to begin.

But we’re still waiting on orders,

hurry up and wait again.

The orders finally arrived,

so now the race is on.

To attend meetings, schedule the movers,

and stay under high stress until we’re gone.

Turn off the utilities and pack up our 2600 square foot home.

It’s a full time job coordinating this move on the phone.

Seriously, Army, where’s my salary for this PCS?

I’ve been on the phone rearranging our lives,

for months nonetheless.

We tried to buy a home,

because rent was not cheap.

Did I mention BAH went down?

But, somehow we have to find,

a decent place to sleep!

We found a home,

and our offer was accepted.

But this renovated home, underneath the surface,

had been neglected.

This property had way too many things,

that needed to be fixed urgently,

or the house could go up in flames.

So that did not work out in our favor.

Meanwhile the movers are wondering,

where to deliver the HHG trailer.

So we desperately jump into a rental,

sight unseen.

We have a place to live,

we’re hoping it is clean.

Now, we plan our trip,

across eight states.

With a baby, a dog, two cars, a uhaul,

and during Covid-Oh great!

My credit card number is stolen during our travel.

It’s been one thing after another,

and my temper is starting to unravel.

We finally arrive at our new duty station.

We have a home after driving across the nation.

Then, all of a sudden,

an ice storm comes our way.

The windows are drafty here,

and trees start snapping all through the day.

Back on the phone I go,

to finish setting up utilities.

Coordinating and multitasking are military spouses greatest abilities.

Our House Hold Goods arrive,

in the pouring rain and sleet.

This house is still frigid,

even with the turned up heat.

Our washer isn’t working,

and our dryer is smoking.

More trips to a laundry mat with a baby in tow,

you’ve got to be joking!

Our cable is hooked up,

but the internet wasn’t, how lame!

I make call number four to arrange it.

Oh, what a pain!

Meanwhile, this house we have rented,

has turned out to be a real lemon.

I’ve turned in maintenance requests,

and talked to six different property management women.

We also paid two mortgage payments this month,

so our bank account is shrinking.

It cost us over five grand to PCS here,

my God, what was the military thinking?

I’m on call number seven to get internet hooked up.

What we really need right now is some good ole luck.

The owner of this rental doesn’t want to fix a thing.

So, here we are looking to move once again.

When can our life just go back to normal like before?

This “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad PCS,”

has been too much to endure.

© Strength 4 Spouses LLC, 2020.